I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
