btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
