Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
