In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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