As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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