She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
