Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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