Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
