I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
