Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think people are normalizing furries
The adults are the big ones right?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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