STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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