He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
