lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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