i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
