9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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