What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
