For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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