Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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