Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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