I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
