Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
