Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
