FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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