For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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