I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
