dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
