Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
