Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
