Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
