he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize