I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My bed smells like the plague
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
