She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
