i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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