Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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