She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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