I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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