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Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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