You work out of a Hotel?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
