Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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