Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
