so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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