Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
