it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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