would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
