You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
