I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize