Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
