If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Life is so much better after having sex.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
