Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
