I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize