He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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