Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
