She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
