your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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