get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
