Me too!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize