Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
