only if we run a train.
done.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize