I hate your face
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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