sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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