But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
