quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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