This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
