Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
