youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
