Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Randomize
