TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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