When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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