Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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