the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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