Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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