I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
