A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
As shirtless as possible
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
