The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
